Yet Another Rant on Indy Car Racing

As Indy Car counts down the days until Randy Bernard announces the new engine/chassis suppliers for next season and beyond, I took the opportunity to vent my frustrations with the series in a letter to Robin Miller's mailbag at SpeedTV.com.

To preface this, I love open wheel racing. At least I used to. Before Tony George instigated the split with CART. Before it became a spec series that, well, pretty much sucks. But I still hold out hope for the future... Here's the Q&A...

Q: My birthday this year fell on Indy 500 weekend. My wife wanted to surprise me. She got her hands on some tickets, had plane flights booked, and a place to stay found. And then she asked me if I wanted my birthday present to be a trip to the Indy 500.

And I told her thanks, but I'll pass.

And we went to Seaworld.

And I didn't regret it.

And it made me sad.

So, that being said, I just read Marshall Pruett's column on what he wants 2012 Indycar to be, and a lot of it jibes with what I and, I hope, most fans, want too. Let me preface this by saying, I'm not an engineer. I don't know an inline engine from an online chat. But I think I hear what Pruett is saying. Translating Pruett-speak into English, mostly what we what is want we don't have now. I don't want ugly-ass spec cars, driven solely by Euros, playing follow the leader flat out around a cookie cutter oval.

What do I want? I want Indy to bring sexy back.

I want sexy cars, not the ugly pig on wheels we have now. I want cars that make you turn your head, drop your jaw, and say 'DAMN'...even when they're sitting still. And I don't want just one. I want the vehicular equivalent of blondes, brunettes, and redheads. And they all better look good, too. I want sexy engines. I want turbo whine, and whoosh, and something that I will never expect to see 'Powered by Briggs and Stratton' on the side. I want sexy horsepower. Not 500. Not 600. Enough so that 'LOTS' will be an excellent description. I want drivers with balls...or the female equivalent. Because no fear is sexy. I want drivers to have to make the tradeoff between lifting and winning....or possibly crashing. I want Milka as a grid girl with a bikini on her body, a bag on her head, and her right foot nowhere near a gas pedal. Ever again. I want 'hanging it out on the edge' to be heard on qualifying runs. I want, just once more in my lifetime, to hear the phrase 'it's a neeeeewwww traaaaaccccckkk recccccorrrrrd' to be heard at the Speedway. And I want Tom Carnegie to say it. I want REAL push to pass. I want Chad Boat and JR Hildebrand in the Indy 500, not the Daytona 500. I want Indy to be filled with the 21st century AJ, and Big and Little Al, and Lone Star JR, and Rick Mears. Nothing against Brazilians and Euros. They're fine people; in this case, though, less is more. I want drivers to get rides based on talent, not checkbook balance. I don't want 'my crew got me good track position' to EVER be heard on victory lane. And I want the Indy 500 to be the biggest, fastest, sexiest race on the planet. Again. And if it takes $20 million and moving the race to Saturday or Monday, do it. And I want Randy Bernard to say, 'NASCAR? Here's the cash, here's the schedule. No more excuses. Grow a set and come race, or go back to your little taxi cabs, and forever know that when push came to shove, you didn't have the stones.'

What do I want? I want to forget the last 15 years ever happened. I want my Indy back. And I want it sexy.

Steve Kornya, Orlando, FL

RM: Belated birthday wishes Steve and thanks for the well written rant.