BCS Humor.

I wish I could take credit for coming up with this bit of genius, but, alas, I can't. I won't, however, refrain from posting it here. To give it context, it came out last season, shortly after the Big 12 conference used the BCS rankings to break a 3-way tie for the Big 12 South championship, and give Oklahoma a spot in the conference title game despite the fact that the Sooners had lost to Texas (a team they were tied with).

BCS Declares Germany Winner of World War II

by

Andy Walsh

Contributor

US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

Thoughts on the Heisman

I think it's clear by now that, right or wrong, the likely invitees to NYC for the presentation will be Tim Tebow, Colt McCoy, Mark Ingram and Toby Gerhart. And if the voters take team accomplishments, career accomplishments, and what they may or may not do on Sunday next season out of the equation, there is only one player who can be named the 'Most Outstanding Player in College Football'. Stanford running back Toby Gerhart.

I'll say it again. If the voters actually vote for the 'Most Outstanding Player in College Football' it should go to Toby Gerhart.

McCoy and Tebow are there because they play on the #3 and #1 teams in the polls.That's it. Has McCoy put up big numbers? Yes, he has. Has he done it against a weak schedule in what this year is essentially a 1-team league? Damn straight. Face it, against the few quality opponents he's played, he's been largely mediocre. Let's face it, the Horns won the Big-12 championship Saturday IN SPITE of McCoy, not because of him.

Tebow has put up the worst numbers of his three years as the UF starter. And when it came down to it, in the biggest game of the year for the Gators, he laid a big one. (Oh, and by the way, this 'Tim Tebow is the best QB in college football history thing'? Two words. Matt Leinart. 37-2 as a starter. SC played for 3 National titles the three years he started. 35 straight wins as QB. 10,000 yards passing. But I digress) .If anyone else put up these numbers and DIDN'T play on a team that was (as of yesterday) 12-0 and had won 2 National Titles in the last 3 years, they'd get an 'oh well, nice season', followed by hearty laughter if anyone suggested a trip to New York.

Face it, McCoy and Tebow are getting Heisman pub not because they are the 2 best quarterbacks in CFB, but because their teams are (or in Tebow's case, were) unbeaten. If pressed, I think anyone could name several QBs who fit the 'more outstanding tag' than either of these two. Kellen Moore. Case Keenum. Max Hall. Jimmy Clausen..and even Tony Pike if he hadn't gotten hurt. Hell, Andy Dalton at TCU had better numbers than Tebow and his team IS undefeated. But he'll likely be in Fort Worth this weekend eating a burger, fries, and slushy at the Sonic, while Timmy is getting feted in the Big Apple.

If one of the QB's wins it this year you can go ahead and add them to the distingiuished list of Eric Crouch, Charles Woodson, and Geno Torretta as years (among many) when the Heisman Voters bought into the hype, and ignored the reality.

To the running backs now. Has Mark Ingram had a fine season? Yes he has. But the most outstanding player in college football? Hell, he's not even the best running back. Or the 2nd (That'd be Dion Lewis). Or the 3rd (That'd be LaMichael James). Or probably the 4th (I'd say 'Quizz Rodgers. But I'm biased.) It's easy to make the case that there are multiple backs who have had better seasons, and are better backs than Ingram. While they may not win the debate, you can easily make the case that James, Rodgers, Lewis, (and Ryan Matthews for that matter) had seasons that were equally as good. And if you bring the 'value to team' argument into the case, were just as valuable as Ingram to their team.

So that leaves Gerhart. And all the arguments go out the window. Rushing yards? Leads the nation with 1736. TD's? 26 rushing, leads the nation. Performance in big games? 178 and 3 against SC. 223 and 3 against Oregon. 136 and 4 in the Big Game against Cal. Team performance? Toby Gerhart picked a team picked to finish 7th in the conference, put them on his back, and 1700 yards and 26 TD's later the Cardinal are in their first bowl game in 8 years

And if that isn't the 'Most Outstanding Player in College Football', I don't know what the hell is.